17A - Elevator Pitch No.2
Reflection of the Feedback- After reading through my feedback, I agree completely most of which stemmed from just being nervous in front of a camera. My major feedback was that I repeated myself too much and that I spoke too quickly. Throughout the recording, I was afraid that I was going to not have enough time to fill everything into ninety seconds, so I think I spoke quickly and forgot to make sure I said everything I needed to.
What I changed, based on Feedback- For this elevator pitch, I tried to use my hands less and speak a lot slower so I could make sure to say anything I wanted to say. Therefore, I was able to actually illustrate the facts I was using props and not just moving my hands around. I also tried to articulate my words so that it was clear to say everything I had recorded.
Hi CJ...
ReplyDeleteI think you really did a great job in the way that you approached the product and related it to potential buyers. The comparisons involving stretching around the globe 2.5x and filling up Yankee stadium stand out. Just throwing out numbers doesn't always bring the point home so those methods you used place visuals in people's minds. I suppose my only "complaint" would be that most of the time you were looking off to the side, but your delivery and your verbiage was excellent!
1.) Overall I definitely see the improvement from the first pitch. The pitch was a lot smoother and I can tell there was more practice.
ReplyDelete2.) Specifically I liked how you incorporated the negative feedback. The biggest difference that i noticed was you not repeating yourself. I think this pitch was a lot better to follow and you improved!
3.) I would advise to mention for the rest of the 20 seconds what you market strategy is. Where you plan to market and who specifically is going to buy it. This will fill up the extra 20 seconds needed and is a great point to end with.
Hey CJ, I liked how you had straws out for display to get people to look at them and think about how much they use and waste them. Overall I think you improved a lot in your speech. You didn't talk that fast but if you kept slowing down and maybe talked a bit more of your background who it would help could potentially extend your time to reach that 90 second mark. But none the less great job.
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